It’s hard to ignore the news sometimes. And if you’re paying attention to the news you are probably convinced that the world is coming to an end. I am a hopeful person. If you have ever met my daughter you’d understand that there is reason to be hopeful. The sad reality is that we are continually fighting for her right to simply exist.
Beatrice is transgender and openly proud of who she is. We are blessed to live in a time and place where she is supported and loved at school and at church, and that we drive 20 minutes to receive her gender affirming, quality healthcare that is covered by our medical insurance. Her story, our story, is not the same for all transgender children and their families. Right now in the United States, families across the country are facing legislative challenges to healthcare, access to equal treatment in their schools, and in some cases, like in Texas, parents are being investigated for child abuse for seeking life saving healthcare for their children.
On November 20, Transgender Day of Remembrance, Beatrice and I were sitting at church when one of our ministers lit a candle of sorrow for the victims of the shooting that happened at Club Q in Colorado Springs earlier that morning. Later that evening, I was honored to participate in an interfaith service remembering the 57 known lives that were lost in the last year simply for existing in the world as they were intended. A local mother courageous spoke from the pulpit about losing her son to suicide after being bullied at school. He was just 12 years old. Even the children who are loved and supported in their families see the cruelty and hatred in the world and they are hurting because of it.
One of the harder things for me to process during Beatrice’s transition was letting go of the child I thought I knew, including the name I’d given her at birth. I am truly grateful I had the foresight to anticipate her first Christmas. In October of that year, I went through all of the Christmas decorations and removed the ornaments that had Beatrice’s deadname on them. (What’s a “deadname”?) I ordered several new ones with her name and replaced them in the boxes. When we decorated the house that year, Beatrice was delighted to find her new ornaments.
Today, as we were walking around Philadelphia, we saw a restaurant that was flying multiple pride flags, including the trans and bi pride flags. While practicing gratitude at lunch, Beatrice reported that her high was seeing those flags because it made her feel seen and proud. We want to help trans kids have a holiday where they feel seen and cared for. That is why Beatrice and I are busy making trans pride ornaments to send to friends we’ve yet to meet across the country.
If you know a transgender child whose world would feel a little safer by receiving a gift of love in the mail, please let us know by completing this form. If you are confused or uncertain about the transgender experience, we encourage you to educate yourself. We have included some helpful resources below.
Beatrice reads “I Am Jazz” and talks about her transition
Understanding Gender - Gender Spectrum
Battling Disinformation about Transgender Rights - Human Rights Campaign
